All At Once
by addictedtowriting
Summary: He broke you, and it's going to take some time for you to be whole again. Addek after finale.


**A/N- I decided to right this because, well, I still love Addek. This is my take on what I would've liked to happen in the finale. Enjoy and review!**

_Looking for the right one, you line up the world to find  
Where no questions cross your mind  
But she won't keep on waiting for you without a doubt  
Much longer for you to sort it out_

And all at once the crowd begins to sing  
Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same

-All At Once by The Fray

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When Derek asked you to prom, you said yes. You said yes because that one question had given you hope, so much hope. Hope that your marriage would survive Mark, Meredith, and everything else that it had been through in the past two years. You thought that maybe, just maybe, Derek wouldn't look at Meredith. You thought that maybe he would notice you again. And you thought that maybe, just maybe, he would tell you that he loved you.

But you were proven wrong as soon as you stepped into Seattle Grace. The interns had done a great job at decorating the lobby. Music was playing in the background, and you were instantly reminded of your prom back in high school. You can't help but cringe at the image of you in braces, chatting with Skippy Gold about Star Wars. You snap out of your reverie as Derek announces that he's going to get some punch. You let out a sigh as you watch him walk away. He hadn't even complimented you on your dress.

You're in conversation with Miranda when out of the corner of your eye, you see Meredith walking down the stairs. She looks nice, you think, as you watch her trying not to fall in her heels. You see Finn gazing up at her, love in his eyes. And then you see Derek. Your husband of almost twelve years, looking at the intern with the same exact look in his eyes. Derek hadn't looked at you like that since, well, before Mark. Way before Mark, when you were both happy. You try to swallow the lump in your throat as you excuse yourself from the conversation. It wouldn't hurt to ask him to dance.

He agrees, and as you weave your way through the couples on the dance floor, you can't help but think of the last time you danced together. It had been at some social dinner, back in New York. You were both getting successful and taking each other for granted, but that didn't matter as he wrapped his arms around your waist and whispered how much he loved you. Now, as he places his hand on your back, you can't help but realize how wrong everything is. His arms feel so _awkward_ around you. You know he would much rather be dancing with Meredith. You know that he is staring at her as he sways with you. As this last thought runs through your mind, you know that you can't keep this up for much longer.

A half hour later, you're standing in the lobby with Finn, looking at photographs. You manage to make decent conversation with him as you wait for Derek to finish up with his patient. As you laugh at something the veterinarian says, you see Derek approaching you. His hair is tousled, his shirt wrinkled. He won't look you in the eye. Before you can ask him anything, Miranda's interns appear. Something happened. Something happened by the way Derek steals a glance at Meredith, before looking away. Something happened by the way Meredith won't look at Finn. And then you know. He had sex with her. Your husband, your soulmate, your best friend, screwed an intern in this hospital, with you only yards away. As you follow Richard out of the lobby, you don't even bother to look back at Derek. And even if you did, what would it matter? All he sees is Meredith Grey.

-----------------

The trailer feels empty as you begin to pack your bags. There's no husband cooking dinner, no dog licking your face in greeting. There's nothing here for you anymore. You thought that Derek was trying, actually trying, but it was all a lie. These past six months have been nothing but lies. He doesn't love you anymore. He doesn't want you. He wants _her._ The intern who stole his heart. You were just her replacement. You were the obligation.

You feel numb as you leave the signed divorce papers on the table. You can't believe this is happening. After everything you've been through, it's ending. Ending because of a meaningless affair with his best friend. Ending because he fell in love with an intern almost half his age. Ending because he stopped seeing you as Addie, his wife that would always be there for him. Now you're just Addison, the adulterous soon to be ex-wife who had an affair.

"Addison, what are you doing?"

Derek. He's home. He looks exhausted.

"I'm leaving."

"Why?" He's moved closer to you, and you can smell her perfume on his clothes.

"Because I'm done. I'm done with pretending that everything is okay, when in reality, everything is falling apart. I thought you loved me. I thought you cared about me. I thought you were _trying_."

"I _am_ trying. I love you, you know I do."

"If you loved me, you wouldn't have had sex with Meredith tonight. If you loved me, you would have fought for me. You would have stayed in New York, instead of driving here to forget your problems. And apparently, I'm one of them. But you don't have to deal with me anymore, because it's over. The papers are on the table."

You walk past him, but not before he grabs your wrist and turns you to face him.

"Addie, don't do this. We can work on this. We can do whatever you want, but please, just don't leave."

You stare into his eyes, and suddenly, they don't look as beautiful as they once were. They don't take your breath away. They don't have any effect on you.

"She picked the vet, didn't she?" you whisper.

When he doesn't say anything, you grab your bags and march out of the trailer. You can feel the tears collecting in your eyes as you cram your bags into the car. When you've finished, Derek is standing behind you.

"I'm sorry, Addie. For everything. I never meant to hurt you."

"Yeah, I'm sure you didn't. Now if you don't mind, I have a flight to catch."

You walk toward your car door, but not before Derek envelops you in a hug. You reluctantly wrap your arms around his neck, and he buries his face in your hair. You stand like that for what seems like forever. When you break apart, he kisses you on the cheek.

"You'll always be the love of my life, Addison."

You roll your eyes. He wants you to forgive him. You know in your heart that you won't forgive him. At least, not now. Not for a long time. He broke you, and it's going to take some time for you to be whole again.

"Have a nice life, Derek. I hope she makes you happy."

And with that, you get into your car, and drive away. You tell yourself not to look back.


End file.
